Diary~♥

often misunderstood

Friday, July 14, 2006 |8:08 AM

woke up to an unhappy day..feeling down.unhappy.disappointed. i know if i'm going to start the day like this..the whole day will be a down day....but how do i explain this kinda of feeling..

i often feel misunderstood..people always perceive me as "wild", "spoilt", "cannot take hard life" etc...always feel this words labelled on me..which actually is quite hurting..how i know?? take the cambodia missions for example...people are so surprise when i said i wanted to go..y?? most of them see me as someone who can't go these places..seriously sometimes i feel that i am even "stronger" than them when it comes to all these.. take for another example..when i wake up early and come to church..people will say.. "whaa...u actually arrive earlier than us." what the hack!!

i always have this conception that people in church feel that the quieter ones are the ones who can "perform" or should i say.are the more spiritual ones?? people who talk alot, make alot of noise, are the ones who are the CMI (can't make it). really that's how i feel. coz it's always the quieter ones who are seen as the "guai guai" people..while the noiser ones are portray as the "notorious" ones..this perception has formed in me that people who talk alot about "God this", "God that" are the more spiritual ones..and those who dun really say these are seen as the less spiritual ones.. if this is the case i can say alot also..but why i dun?? because i know TALK IS CHEAP!! If i say already yet my actions dun reflect, what am i showing??

I hate this feeling of being misunderstood....i hate it especially more when this happens in church..the people can be calling u "sister/brother" yet @ the back of you tell people that they can't stand u. i hate it when things are meant to be a joke and some people are just so offended by it..it's SICK and SHITTY!!!!