Diary~♥

something amiss

Sunday, February 25, 2007 |9:30 PM

didn't do much this weekend but was still very tired..last week have been a short week..worked 3 days only. haiz..time flies..march is coming. special month for me coz it's my bday..but looking @ the calender is super demoralising!! well that's because there ain't any PH (public holidays) in march. =( depressing..*sobsob*

some of the alive people gathered @ hazel's house yesterday for dinner.well we had steamboat. the most common for a meal over CNY..in fact i love steamboats because it's healthy. fried food are BARRED!!! and every body eats stuff which are boiled only. hiaks hiaks..anyway it was a good time of gathering..after not seeing the alive people for such a long time. i arrived early @ hazel's place so it was a good time of catching up with hazel and boon liong..

was supposed to have morning devotion with the cg today.but i wonder..if jem even knows that 930am on a sunday morning is really too early..its like the only day where i can sleep in later..so obviously i didn't make it again..but i made it for service in time. in fact sometimes i feel very sian to go for service..reason??

i feel sian in the cg..coz i don't feel that i fit in..basically because i think that most of the people in my cg are in courtship else they are getting married..not to say celine (whom i think she is quite irregular and always busy) and also now that jarain dear is not coming..i think i am even more left out in the whole group. they are all in a different life station as me..and despite desperately wanting to be restructured out..i am rejected flatly. something is amiss because i don't know whom i can relate to...shufen has hanhui, shireen has james...and the rest are brothers like william, jianyang?? how to relate?? sometimes i wonder if people in my cg also ever really understand me...afterall i have been in this group for really some time and i really want a change out... its like there isn't much people i know in the church. or anyone who i particularly know..why i feel this way??

remembering the day @ joel's house while looking @ her photos they were like Oh...this is who..this is so and so..but to me i wasn't even in the formal NTU/NUS group..it's like who are these people..i don't have these sort of memories of NTU/NUS. i often get mistaken for being who i am not then the usual comment by people who know me will say.."well those who know you more will know u are not like that." but then i wonder who in church ever know me more except for the few of those whom i have been with in the cg. in fact if i were to frankly say.. i think even the unit people also dun really know me. should i call people in church as brothers/sister or just acquintances???

today james was telling me about the giving part..many a times i also asked..why i don't have the heart to give as much as the rest...in fact alot of times..i wonder if the church is really a family. it's like who are the real brothers & sisters in the church? am i always going to be stuck in this unit??? its not that i don't like this unit..it's just that i want to venture out. don't know very tired.

It's a marchie

Tuesday, February 20, 2007 |8:50 PM

yeap...i've confirmed my order..i am getting a marchie..thanks to mummy dearest for your generous sponsorship.. =)...everybody says mummy loves me =).gee..and i am getting the color i like..--> black..no worries the interior will be super hello kitty =) hello kitty mirror..hello kitty soft toy..hello kitty seat belt..ok.my bday present hello kitty!!! i adore this cat. in case some of you duno how a march looks like..i've attached the picture...but mine is black ok!

My CNY so far

Monday, February 19, 2007 |9:05 AM

this is a special year for me..i didn't receive any angbaos except for those from my parents and nanny..in fact there wasn't much celebration coz my grandma passed away recently. Visiting was only to my nanny place and my paternal grandparents side..there wasn't any gathering @ my maternal side. However, this year i collected quite alot of $$$. Dad gave me a usual $168..which is quite alot..Mum gave me a whopping $500..because she said..those that she is suppose to give others never give so in the end give it to us..i was shocked when i opened the ang bao..and i asked her. "You gave wrongly is it???" Anyway it was a $500 note and i like it alot..next up...i bought 4d..just for fun..special occassion..the number i bought was 8868..and it really came out..as a starter..and i won $250.not bad..=). 10% went to church liao..so i have the remainder to use. Church camp registration is coming up..shouldn't be a problem liao.. gee..and of coz mum agreed to pay for my new car...not bad right my new year???

Fortunate me...

Sunday, February 18, 2007 |1:29 AM

it's the 1st day of the CNY...yeah CNY 2007..although i won't be getting much ang pows this year..because my grandma passed away...so this year will be quieter..=(.but nonetheless..something unexpected happened today..hey u all know COE price went down and car prices went down..for people who know me..have always known i wanted to get a car to convenience myself..u all know wat??? i went to see the nissan march ytd and brought back the brochure to discuss with my parents last nite...then mum went down with me to the nissan showroom to see the car...wanted to get a bank loan.but as i was about to sign on the paper..my mum looked at it again and asked the sales man...

Mum: "Calculate for me the price if i don't take a bank loan??"

Saleman:" Mdm, if you don't take bank loan. I can't give you the freebies."

Mum: " Just calculate for me."

The man did..without taking on the bank loan is a total savings of $7,000+..my mum agreed to pay the full cash downpayment for me..but after CNY..then we go see the car again.and get the color i really like. =)...mum told me she won't charge me interest..so fortunate right???

many updates

Tuesday, February 13, 2007 |12:49 AM

hmz..where shall i start??? ok..let's start from where i left off since my last blog..this might be a long post not too sure..see how it goes..ok let's start.

my dear shepherd and my cgl has found a flat..well she is so excited when she told me about it..the flat they bought is @ dover. A 4 rm corner flat. New one somemore. Anyway let me share something about it. I think its really God's grace to give them this flat and in such a good timing. Not too late and not too early. should i say JIT?? In fact as Shireen sheep, i saw how she went through this flat searching thing. Since last year when she is planning for marriage she will be this worrier..and her problem is always about the $$$ issue. Worry not enough $$ and i always have to tell her don't worry...sure can make ends meet. Then she will be like:

Shireen: "aiyah bishan flats very expensive. clementi flats also very expensive!"

Me: "No worries. "

No matter how much i assure her..she still always worry. I think her white hair grows not because of her aging.But because of her worry. Somehow i am late God didn't give her the flat too early and not too late either..So it'll be ready for her wedding. Then this shepherd of mine worries about the dinner. scared lose $$. but i tell her and shireen if you are reading this..REST ASSURE THAT IF GOD CAN GIVE YOU SUCH A GOOD GIFT. YOU CAN BE ASSURED THAT HE WILL BLESS YOU EVEN MORE!!!. anyway i thank God that He gave her the flat and it's really cheap...well if God takes longer..woe to all her sheeps!! who have to suffer with her worry and mood swing syndromes!!!

Next update is my "Wu Puo's Wedding". Finally this woman has gotten married. In fact i am feeling quite upset that i can't help much in her wedding. except to use my expertise and count the Ang Bao $$$. Anyway, Wu Puo..thank you for giving me this honourable task. It wasn't such an easy experience after all. Wu Puo this photo is for you.

The pretty Wu Puo

Next update is on my work..for people who know me better i have been real real busy..but yet happy. Busy & tired yet happy? sounds ironic? yah it is..my office has shifted to suntec tower 1 since 5 feb..colleagues are fine...the mgr i am currently working with is also very nice. I must admit she is very patient and willing to mentor and coach her staff. In fact the night before i was on MSN with her and she msg me this:

Mgr:" Sorry to make you work so hard. I am trying to help you as much as I am. Sorry that Lee Leng is not around to guide you."

Me: "Nah its ok..i am glad i am learning things from you."

Mgr: "yah..IPOs are like that one..just get over it."

Just a simple msg..and i really feel appreciated. Even when i went back on sat to work..@ around 6+ she came to me and told me to get ready for my friend's wedding. Else if i don't leave by 7 i am going to be late. Its really thoughtful for her. =)

ok...last update...anyone know i bought a hello kitty calculator for work??? guess i am famous for this...

God.I.Others

Tuesday, February 06, 2007 |11:31 PM

Due to Shufen & Hui ge wedding this coming sat..i had to move my keyboard lesson to today..but fortunately i got practice so still can handle. This sem keyboard touches on the Heart of God..this term we learn to dwell deeper into God's heart..and also we learn how to pray and play and meditate on God's word. I love this verse that is constantly share...

" I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with lovingkindness."

Jer 31:3

This constantly reminds me that God's love for me is never changing..so whenever things take a turn for a worst..it's me...who is changing =(

Today we were asked...what is God's 2 most top commandments..and we said

1) Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind & soul

2) Love your neighbour as yourself...

So it was shared that we should..put

1) God

2) I

3) Others

This is the priority..

But often people are burn out in ministry because either:

1) They put themselves before God or put other before God

2) They put others above themselves...

It is often a challenge in our lives to put these 3 in the correct order. The blessings in our life will flow out to others if we love ourselves..but we must remember not to be self centered..=)

birthday wish

|12:42 AM