2 weeks have passed
Saturday, May 31, 2008 |11:44 PM
its been 2 weeks seems like 2 months to me. will be flying off to china - jiangxi in less than 8 hrs time from 1.06.08 - 12.06.08. really hope this will be a time for me to refresh myself and get over him.
courage
|2:37 AM
its 2 weeks since the breaking up. i've been trying to take it well. but i can't deny yes i still feel sad. y i title this entry as courage? today my brother, his gf and me wanted to watch the show "made of honour". our first choice was to watch it @ cineleisure because the show was @ 11pm. however, by the time we check online already no more tickets and because this show has been showing for some time already. i guess times aren't that "hot" anymore and there aren't any late shows. the only place that still had the show @ 11+pm was @ kallang leisurepark.
a little about the place - kallang leisure park. this is the place where i often come with mr thomas chew. in fact 2 times for show- 1) shutter and 2) street kings and we came around kallang for walks before. actually i know somehow he likes this place and frequents it often. it was really a struggle to come here to watch the show because...1) i was afraid that i will see him and 2) it brings back memories of him. every corner of it brings back memories of him. even @ the car park. it really took me loads of courage to step into the place and walk in the mall as a single without him being around.
well we do have memories like the drinking of coke zero. he was the one who introduced me to the drink but ever since the break up..i have never drank it anymore. not that i don't like it just that i don't want to drink and think about things. i hope 1 day it will come the day where i will have this drink - coke zero without having the feeling of sadness anymore..
emotional moodswings
Thursday, May 29, 2008 |9:58 PM
these days have really been hard. how do i put it? not sure is it because i am having pms but then i really ain't the best of my moods. been crying quite a bit recently. reason- because i think of him. yes mr thomas chew. i seriously hope this will pass soon..i hope 1 day if i ever see him i will have the courage to see him face to face and tell him " i am over and done with you." when will this day come?
i have a siao siao mother
Monday, May 26, 2008 |12:01 AM
many people would say i must be super rude to put such a title. or some might be speculating that i quarrelled with her. no no.nothing of the sort. in fact i must really say sometimes i admire her. for her wisdom in finances, cooking etc though she can be very long winded and naggy most of the times. but something i really wish to affirm her of..a little history..my mum age 56. born in 1952 sometime in april..she became a christian @ a young age. when she was 21. she told us she was baptise in Church of Singapore. then she married my dad not knowing that she can't be unequally yoked..when she had us because of caring for the family she didn't attend church anymore and it was for a whole of like 18 years...
after 18 years of being a lost sheep..she had a dream. same dream for 3 consecutive times. she dreamt that she died and had no where to go.. heaven didn't want her neither did hell. so her soul wandered about aimlessly..and she woke up in sweat..all in all the same dream 3 times. she confided in her sister (who is a non christian) and her sister said:
sis:" must be your God asking you to come back."
sometimes when my mum share her story with me..i felt that God's timing very divine because 18 years of not attending church..my brother was 18 then and i was 16..he finished his a levels while i completed my o levels. we were more of grown ups then God intervened @ that time and brought her back.
my brother is 29 this year and its like been a good 11 years since my mum went back to church and she is damn CONVICTED. i really admire her faith. she can share christ to anymore. She will just praise God in front of my uncles, aunties, grandparents, her staff and outsiders. She acknowledges that her wisdom comes from God and whether her business is good or bad also is up to God. She tells my dad how she starts her day before she enters her office by singing praises to God...(whahhaa i felt so ashamed that i don't). and i must admit my mum sings out of tune, out of beat. but she just sing and she does her QT every morning. she starts work @ 10 am.but she wakes up @ about 830am to do QT. Unbelievable right?
My mum will pray for everybody in the family anything under the sun she can pray and she always share christ to my dad. she always tell him story after story how God has blessed her life, protected her etc and her list never ends. She told me she never believe in coincidences and only believe in God's divine intervention. She is 1 lady who will interrogate me as to the reason why i never go church/ never give tithe. Scary mum right?
Through these years her faith has been growing stronger and stronger. She used to be damn afraid to die but today she told me this
mum:" i am not afraid of ghosts because i know my God is stronger and bigger than those spirits. I will always shout Hallelujah. I am not afraid of death because i know where i am going after i die."
me:" whaa..stare stare stare... and keep quiet."
don't you all agree my mum is a siao siao mother?
a week has passed
Saturday, May 24, 2008 |1:12 AM
a week has passed since the breakup. time flies soon it'll be 2 weeks and counting. the perpetual crying has stopped. isn't that good? coz evelyn told me cry too much breasts will become small (and to begin with mine ain't big liao) so better stop crying :(. life has been pretty calm for the week. going back on track. realised i wasted loads of time so now its really time to do things i want and not waste it anymore.
a joy to be restored
Wednesday, May 21, 2008 |9:57 PM
i blogged about it ytd.i broke up. if i were to say i ain't upset i would be wearing a mask and lying. yes i admit i am upset. i cry..cried over the weekend. but now its better. though i still think of it but @ least i don't cry that much anymore though there are still tears. was speaking to joel last night and confessed some stuff to her. in fact i felt ashame when i first lied to her but since she is taking over me as a sheep i think i really need to speak the truth. in fact somehow i felt sorry that she had to take over @ the lowest pit in my life. i guess it ain't going to be easy for her. i wanted to tell her because somehow i felt it would be unfair for her if she didn't know about it and the "thing" would always be a hindrance in my life and she see no growth in me..actually after saying sorry to God and telling joel i suddenly felt a big load lifted off my heart.
Actually recently i have been doing my quiet time after months of not doing so. in fact before the break up i have been doing it a few days before maybe that's why gave me the courage to give it up and end it. today while doing quiet time it was only 2 verses God gave me
2 Corinthians 4:17-18
"For our present troubles are quite small and won't last very long.Yet they produce for us glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen."
somehow i feel assured that God will bring me through this.
today i msn my boss. (this boss is 10 years older than me. i work with him on many of my jobs so our working relationship is quite good and he is my mentor). this is the conversation:
me: "boss, why you look so unhappy recently?"
him: "because you never smile at me."
me:" joking lah. i realise this peak you look unhappy compared to the previous. i asked david and adam but they also don't know why."
him:" no lah. got many issues in our audit."
him:" i heard you tendered."
me:" eh yes.."
actually conversation was very short and sweet.but it somehow reminded me that it has been a long time since i smiled. my joy from the Lord is like gone...which i really want it back. in fact i desperately want it back. i want back my cheerful spirit. i want back my loud loud laughter. i want things to be restored. i don't want to go on being sad. i want the smile that will warmed people hearts. i want the laughter that will cheer others on.
it has ended
Tuesday, May 20, 2008 |11:46 PM
it has ended. don't ask me anymore i also don't wish to say so much all i can say is that 2 years has come to an end. there will be no turning back. no looking back.only moving forward.
3 cheers to hello kitty
Sunday, May 18, 2008 |7:14 PM
my favourite cartoon...y i love her..because cute..haha no lah u all think i am so shallow..that's beside the point..i did a google search on the topic "why hello kitty has no mouth" found many search results..
but i think this one is the real one..which is why i love her so much..
Hello kitty has no mouth because she speaks from her heart. She's Sanrio's ambassor to the world and isn't bound to any particular language.
See hello kitty speaks the heart language..its all about the heart.. yesterday someone shared with me this.." if you have not learn to love and care for people from your heart you have not lived a life at all."
see i am a hello kitty because i like to relate people from my heart..i hate to relate to people using my brains coz i am not intellectual after all..so many times i speak what my heart feel..
by the way y 3 cheers to hello kitty becuase she is appointed as Japan's tourism ambassor..hee lovely right..here is the article..
Hello Kitty to be appointed Japan's tourism ambassador
TOKYO, JAPAN - JAPAN will on Monday appoint the mouthless feline cartoon character Hello Kitty as a goodwill tourism ambassador in China and Hong Kong, with the aim of promoting visits here, Kyodo News has reported
The Ministry of Land, Infrastructure, Transport and Tourism will announce the appointment on Monday, Kyodo said at the weekend, quoting ministry officials.
It will mark the first time a cartoon character has become a goodwill ambassador for Japan under the government's campaign launched in 2003 to promote visits to the country, it said.
Under its 'Visit Japan Campaign' to attract foreigners, the government hopes to attract 10 million overseas tourists annually by 2010, up from 8.35 million last year.
The ministry, which has so far appointed 11 people as goodwill tourism ambassadors, said the global icon was 'qualified' for the job due to its popularity among Chinese people, it said.
A Hello Kitty blog will start around late June on the Chinese language page of the campaign website to introduce tourist attractions in Japan, including historic and popular sites, Kyodo said.
Hello Kitty, which started in 1974 in Japan as a moon-faced cartoon cat on a coin purse, has developed into a global phenomenon, with more than 50,000 different products on sale in 60 nations.
In March, the foreign ministry appointed the nation's beloved cartoon robo-cat Doraemon as a charm ambassador in a bid to promote the nation's culture and win the hearts of future world leaders. -- AFP
i am so proud of my favourite cat....make me so proud of her :) hip hip hooray little kitty!
It's inner beauty that really counts
Saturday, May 17, 2008 |2:46 AM
in the wee hours in the morning...i was reading from www.asiaone.com i love to read from this website. it gets updated regularly and i can find many things through it...came across this interesting article which i would love to share it with many people out there.
It's inner beauty that really counts
In my previous two columns, I discussed the beauty of the human form. I pointed out that the physical features we find attractive in men and women tend to be those that denote health and vigour. I said that while it is natural to admire beautiful faces and to want to look attractive, it is important to keep a sense of proportion.
There is no harm in wanting to look nice. If this means getting plenty of sleep, eating nutritious food, exercising regularly and taking care of your personal grooming, then so much the better. Physical beauty signifies good health. So it seems appropriate to pursue beauty by adopting a healthy lifestyle.
Outer and inner beauty
But a healthy lifestyle can only achieve so much. Most of us fall far short of the ideal of physical beauty, even if we take good care of ourselves. Fortunately, there are many ways to be beautiful. Physical appearance is only part of the story.
In his book, Learning From Wonderful Lives, Cambridge University psychologist, Dr Nick Baylis, writes: 'I always thought how pleasing it would feel to be really beautiful - head-turningly handsome - so the women whose admiration I sought would recoil slightly in open-mouthed awe, which is what I seemed to do when confronted by someone stunning.'
I suspect many of us have indulged in similar thoughts. But Dr Baylis goes on to say that he eventually came to realise that his initial response to someone's physical beauty wore off predictably after a few occasions: '(After that) I seemed to crave only companionship and a refreshing stream of energy and bright ideas that never ran dry.'
There is more to beauty than meets the eye. Outer beauty makes a hell of a first impression. But a deeper, inner beauty is required to sustain interest.
What do I mean by inner beauty? Well, just as there are external features (unblemished skin, lustrous hair, toned muscles, etc) that we find attractive in others, so there are internal qualities that arouse our admiration: confidence, courage, kindness, intelligence and a sense of humour, to name a few.
When, as a young man, I first read Jane Austen's Pride And Prejudice, I fell violently in love with the heroine, Elizabeth Bennett. This had nothing to do with the way she looked. What attracted me was her personality - an intoxicating blend of charm, wit, good humour and feistiness that still captivates me to this day.
'We'd be making a great mistake to judge ourselves by the way we look," says Dr Baylis, 'because that's only a fraction of what true beauty is all about. We know from the studies of many lifetimes that humans find a balance of loving and confidence, and kindness and humour, to be highly attractive.'
Unlike outer beauty, which is immediately apparent to the most casual observer, inner beauty can be fully appreciated only by those who get to know us. It takes time for inner beauty to make an impact. But when it does, its effects are wide-reaching. Often, once we have come to appreciate someone's inner beauty, we begin to see them through new eyes.
Many of us will have had the experience of finding someone physically attractive, even though we know they are actually not that good-looking. Somehow their personality, charm, goodness, wit or energy seems to shine through.
And the wonderful thing about inner beauty is that it endures. Physical beauty cannot last. No amount of anti-wrinkle cream or cosmetic surgery can shield us forever from the ravages of time. But there is no age limit on courage, kindness or sense of humour. Inner beauty can last a lifetime.
almost over you
Friday, May 16, 2008 |11:49 AM
Almost over you
I saw an old friend of ours today. She asked about you, I didn't quite know what to say. Heard you've been making your rounds 'round here. While I've been trying to make tears disappear
Chorus:
Now I'm almost over you, I've almost shook these blues. So when you come back around after painting the town. You'll see I'm almost over you.
You're such a sly one with your cold, cold heart. Maybe leavin' came easy, but it tore me apart. Time heals all wounds they say and I should know. 'Cause it seems like forever, but I'm lettin' you go
chorus
I can forgive you and soon I'll forget all my shattered dreams. Although you left me with nothing to show, full of misery.
chorus
When you come back around after painting the town. You'll see I'm almost over you
An interesting article
Friday, May 09, 2008 |11:39 PM
just happened to be reading asiaone.com and i came across this article which i felt was very interesting and wanted to share with the people out there..
Just married but no time for honeymoon
MORE Singaporeans may want to get married but some cannot even find the time to enjoy their honeymoon immediately after.
Minister in the Prime Minister's Office Lim Boon Heng on Friday night said young Singaporeans are too caught up with their work and urge them and their employers to change this work culture.
Citing a newly-wed couple as an example, he said he asked them where they would be heading for their honeymoon and was told that they had to defer it because of work commitments.
'So work dictates life, and young people seem to be caught up in working long hours,' said Mr Lim on Friday night at a Mother's Day dinner organised by the Jurong Central Grassroots Organisations.
'Is it necessary to work such long, late hours?' asked Mr Lim who is also MP for Jurong GRC.
Mr Lim encouraged employers and employees to relook the culture of long working hours and be more family-friendly.
'We should go for high productivity, not long hours,' he told 900 guests at Orchid Country Club.
A recent survey released by the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports on marriage and families, found that more Singaporeans wanted to get married and those who were married wanted more kids.
While this was encouraging, Mr Lim said the real question was whether enough was being done to encourage couples to have more children.
P R O F I L E