today marks the end of my "shaking legs" days..which means my eng eng days..just got a mail from my senior mgr asking me to report to another director coz got new project coming up..don't know what is it about.best is can fly me to korea. anyway i am still feeling tired.the after fever from yesterday wedding..heng my pretty eyes aren't affected!!! sipping my teh o right now yeah yeah..how envy right? getting paid 3K+ to sip teh o. think God has really bless me man!

was reading a mail from this sister of mine -> Meihui. she also went on the Cambodia missions. Frankly, i miss the whole team so much..and i can only see them occassionally in church =( boo hoo hoo...anyway the mail from her so touching leh..anyway it started off like this:

on wed nite, she emailed the whole team the photos for the trip, while i was looking at it..i was reminded of the happy memories during the trip. then i mailed her:

"mei hui..how have you all been..haiz..i miss you all somehow"

then last nite came her mail. so touching i almost cried. someone actually miss me. the mail reads this:

"hi,

I thought of you too, when i repeat the video again and again. seeing you testifying, giving sweets ... and your laughter. :) really enjoy your company in the trip.

I'm doing well these few weeks are busy editing the video. finally it's out. :P"

Can you all believe it..someone will miss me..the ra ra queen. *giggles* i feel so honoured =)

i am surprise! today from my office i can access blogs & my friendster website.i am suspecting that the firewall is down! ho ho ho! best..anyway it's the morning crowd that irritated me again! inconsiderate people.darn!!!! people just like me who use the mrt. early in the morning squeeze into the crowded train..fine that people like to squeeze @ the door..ok then i force my way in..besides it..well

WHY DO PEOPLE LOVE TO HUG THE POLE OR EVEN LEAN ON IT???????

my first question is this: is the pole yr bf/gf????? need to hug it???

second question: don't have backbone is it?? lean lean lean.. and happily lean on people's hands while they hold the pole.

third question: you wanna do pole dancing is it?

SG please be considerate lah!

next up..today attended my friend's wedding..wow..this is the first time i hear the guy speak so much. anyway real happy for them. haiz.so many of my friends getting either hitched or married.sometimes i do wonder when will it be my turn? *hmzz* my heart do get anxious.yet i want to trust God for it. though i must admit it really is hard many times. =( anyway the author is tired and real tired liao. so buai...

took a pic of myself with my new hp not bad eh?? am i looking better? if yes, Praise God..more of God's glory on me =)

actually i didn't want to blog this and tell people about my little secret.. but then after thinking i decided to do it..

yesterday i burn a hole in my pocket. i sign up for a keyboard course at believer music. cost me 290. the course will last for 3 mths. hopefully i will have the talent and will pick up fast. actually this is also one of the resolution that i made at the beginning of 2006. guess it's all slowly coming to pass. i hope i'll make my debut appearance @ shireen and james wedding next year bah..and i will practice hard hard =)

next up i changed my hp..yes i sold my pinkie away and bought a 2nd hand one. Nokia 7370 very girlish one. =) reason: i wanted to get rid of some old memories. don't ask me who the messages are from. if you read my previous posts you all will have a clue.

yes, i decided to start all my bgrs afresh. no excess baggages. no excess emotions. *winks* brand new princess

it's sunday again..soon it'll be monday.not that i am having my monday blues. but just feeling a little sian at how sometimes people in church don't understand me. well it all started like this.. was with my parents this morning then i receive 2 smses. 1) Jarain - "are you reaching soon?" 2) Shireen - " are you coming for svc?" i guess i am kinda of amazed more at shireen's sms. simple reason. As her sheep, i guess its kinda of obvious that i'll be coming. unless i am really sick or like i have something real important to attend to. else i'll be there. well the point i want to drive at is this: I am not a new believer who needs people to ask each week "will you be coming for service?" i guess the question should be " are you reaching soon?". the misunderstood me once again.

next up was during lunch. the group was discussing about the retreat we are going to have in Oct. Then XQ just pin point at me and say " you mind ubin? alot of mosquitoes." somehow this irritated me. Come on! Many times i feel after being in the church for so long the people still don't understand me. At times i just wanna S-C-R-E-A-M! Perhaps on the outer appearance i may seem like cannot tahan tough conditions. But i guess if compared to many other sisters out there, there are some whose outward appearance don't show but they are even more "ah jie" than me.

sometimes i wonder the difference between my previous cgs and the one now. though the previous cg with andrew had alot of ups and downs but there were more activities involved. right now the current cg, every sunday they all have their own activities. all the meetings and whatever it is lah..it's machiam sunday go to church.after that go back liao. sian haiz...

next up was another not so good news. just chatting with mum a little earlier after my sunday afternoon nap.. apparently she went over to my other uncle's house for a chat. she told me that my uncle who is hospitalise isn't doing well. still not out of ICU. still on medication with all the tubes sticking on him =( things aren't looking fine.

well to end this all these sian-ness a little good news, my cousin is pregnant again. 2 mths. i hope its a boy this time round. the family already has 2 girls so hopefully a boy lah..seems like i really am an auntie liao. can't deny the fact =( *gosh*

we had our new sub-d gathering today. the birth of NG5. also it was my first time sharing my testimony with the sub d. not bad to be the first. but kind of "kan chiong". well for those who know me i am quite shy if i don't really know people. got stage fright one wor! So for me to share my testimony was almost MISSION Impossible. In fact, as i reflect back these few years i went through many missions impossible. I really hope these missions impossible would impact the lives of many. From the vain pot, prideful me in the past till the one who eats alot of humble pie now..i must say God is amazing..As the song in my blog sings.." Your grace still amazes me."

Anyway, as i entitled this post "Reflections" just some reflections on the journey with Hope Singapore. It all started in 2001, the year i graduated from my university days. While in my church auditorium in Perth, i overheard this guy saying, for those who are graduating and wants to find a church in SG, can try Hope. The culture is very similar to the church in Perth. The curious me then went on the internet to find out more about the church. As i came in 2002, i came to church alone. Standing at the door not knowing anyone, of coz i felt lost. Then this sister approach me--> Yinzhuang. This eventually got me connected. But staying in the church didn't last long. Many things led me to leave the church..and wandered about aimlessly..and there was a period i didn't even attend church.

But God really works in marvellous way. In 2003 while i was in this terrible relationship, somehow i knew i needed to get back to God. So i went back to church and this time i sat behind. Then this lady, Madaglene came and approach me..this is how i got connected to Hope once again. But the true connection came 1 sunday while i sat behind and was spotted by Yinzhuang. Then she connected me to the CG.

Well, as i look back..there were really many Ups and Downs..storm which i faced 2 years back..squabbles with shepherds..misunderstandings..but i really thank God for giving

i have been blogging less.not because no time but because lazy. hiaks hiaks.ok i will try to blog more often. instead of updating my life all @ 1 shot for the whole week. but today i just give a brief summary of the happenings for the week..

1) receive news from my mum last sat that my uncle is in hospital. due to swollen legs. dad, mum & brother visited him on sunday morning. i didn't manage to go coz had sub d meeting. but yesterday heard his condition worsened.. currently in icu. doctors say 60% survival chances haiz... don't see me like don't feel anything.actually i am kinda of worried too.

2) next up today i ended a relationship officially. actually it was with this guy whom we had a very draggy relationship. i guess the problem is that he doesn't know what he wants. So i had to make this stand, though it kinda of pains my heart. but i decided to let it go officially. But again, he never reply. i hate this kind of attitude. right now i really don't wanna think about it.

k these are the latest updates in my life.

it's been a week since i've came back from cambodia. hmpf..life is back to the busy-ness of SG life. *shrugs* At least i no longer need to do LTA and instead is put on another project.but life ain't easy as well. ever since i went back to work it has been OT everyday. feeling kinda of sian.but still must carry on. GAMBATE!!!!

my grp had our Q2 kick off meeting @ MOS ytd. For those who doesn't know MOS it's Ministry of Sound @ clarke quay. Wasn't really fascinated in fact i feel kinda of out of place. lost touch?? not sure. instead i look some pictures of the place. quite retro eh?? well i didn't stay late left @ around 8 plus coz got CG..



was doing some sharing during CG. actually its really something i felt from the bottom of my heart finally i let it out. something i learnt from my missions trip.. i know i may not be able to share this with the sub d or even unit but @ least i can share it with my CG people..it's counting yr blessings each day..and i mean it..while i was in Cambodia we visited this korean missionary and he was telling us..the villagers just need USD 100 a mth to get through for just 1 household. people in cambodia yearn for education. while i observe their mode of transport are motor bikes.with 4-5 people squeezing on a bike..so while we are in SG, we should really give thanks and count our blessings. We should be thankful that we have concrete homes over our head, stable jobs and decent pay, good infrastructure->buses, trains,taxis etc and comfortable cars to ferry us around, hygienic toilets, comfortable restaurants, education..etc the list just goes on that we have so many things that we can thank God for...i guess many of us have neglect all these in our life but let me say something which i miss out last night-->

"Instead of focusing on things that we don't have which makes us unhappy or discontented. Why not focus on things we have. Instead that will make us praise God and give thanks to Him." =)

Day 3
There was a change of plans for this day. Initially the team was suppose to go distribute rice but due to fatigue of the team..Tze wei changed the plans. We got to sleep in a little more..around 8+. This morning we proceeded to Rm 615 - Christine & Qianfang room for devotion. A little joke before we started worship. We needed to paste the lyrics on the wall but couldn't find any sticky stuff. Then someone say "Use the gold in our nose. That one is sticky." haha..

Verse for today: Deutronomy 5:1. "Learn the and be sure to obey them!" It reminds me that not only do we have to learn but we must bear in mind to obey what was commanded. We must be sure to follow God's words as it will build ourselves up.

The afternoon was spent in the hotel doing encouragement cards for the Cambodian brothers and also preparing for the ministering in the evening.

Snakes & Ladder Game; Qianfang, PJ, Jenny, Wanqi and Me
Questions: Nelson, Shawn, Christine, Hillary, Tze Wei
Handicraft: Meihui, Esther, Kar Leong
Worship: Feili, Rosaline,
Photos: Johnathan, TH

This was also the final day we'll be ministering to the boys and...God have to test me again!! haiz..can't escape. Ended up praying for a Cambodian Brother this time. But fear didn't grip me as much anymore. =) Praise God.

Day 2:
This was the day that my faith was really tested. Besides my faith being tested, i was also physically challenged. Day 2 started off with us having to leave for the provinces by 6am. We had to wake up @ 5+ and hurriedly prepare ourselves. Breakfast was a rush with some of us just grabbing sandwiches. and gobbling it down our mouths.

We first headed to the rice mill to collect the rice for distribution. 200 sacks of rice each weighing about 30kg. While some of the guys were labouring, we went to walk around the rice mill and see how rice is process. well no wonder people say "don't ever see how food is prepared, else you won't dare eat it!" hahah i understand now. The weather conditions were harsh. Super hot. and most of us kept drinking water. i don't dare drink too much fearing that i will keep going to the W.C. While some of them were waiting, Qianfang proceeded with buying the mask for me..super welfare eh?? but too bad she only bought it for the girls in my sub team. the guys didn't have it..well sisters have special treatment..

next up was an hr drive to our next destination for lunch/breakfast..i don't know..whatever. while i was saying "grace"..Shawn commented:" whaaa@! how come you say grace for so long? afraid ah??" hahah i would have to say in terms of hygiene i was really afraid of going to the loo. the lunch was simple..was noodles with pork. while some had pork chop rice..

finally after another hr drive we arrived @ the Takeo Province for rice distribution. The scene touched me so much because the villagers were surrounding us and looked so desperate for the rice. From their eyes, it spelt hope. Then i asked around and realise that rice is their basic source of food.and 1 sack of rice can last them approx. a mth..(no wonder it's like gold bar) imagine for us, we ask for a bowl of rice and can't finish and just throw. How precious is it for those villagers. While the guys were helping with the distribution of rice, the girls were doing the balloons for the kids. As i look @ the innocence of the kids and how precious they treated the balloons, their eyes spelt innocence and hope. Hope for a better future..meanwhile some of the other sisters were distributing sweets to the kids as well. just a simple sweet and the gratefulness in them. the sincerity in them.

Wat Opot was next. It's actually a AIDS hospice. Saw some of the patients which needed love. That human touch..people who were willing to visit them..people who are willing to just see them. Then we saw some of the kids staying there. some who have AIDS while others don't have but are staying there as their parents have and passed away due to AIDS. The simplicity in the kids. All these made me think of the basics of life. While we in Singapore are chasing after material things. The people there are living with the basics in life. The necessity, the needs and not the wants. How blessed are we..

After the AIDS home, we stopped by a place. It's a boarding school set up by a korean missionary. The place taught English. As we chatted with the locals i felt the sincerity in them. no fakeness. no posers. The kind of hope that they want to have.. That kind of hope made me teared. It's the hope that only Jesus can fill. Next up was the "CHALLENGE" i got a sudden urge to head for the loo. haiz...as you all know the "xiao jie" me is kinda of particular about toilets. but then.no choice super high tide. headed for the loo.. toilet doors can't be shut properly, spider webs all over the the cubicle, floors are wet and no flushing. had to pour water plus the amonia smell. i overcame it!!! hee =) from the incident it made me understand myself a little better. I am actually not that "xiao jie" and i can overcome all these.

The final destination was the hospital visit. As we toured the hospital i was amazed @ their healthcare facilities. To put it simply, even a C class ward in SG would be any better. Singaporeans realise how blessed you all.. with such advanced medical treatment in SG. such first class healthcare facilities..

At the end of Day 2 activities to the province while on our long journey back while everyone was sleeping on the bus, i saw this brother who sacrificed his sleep and kept talking to the driver. I suppose its to keep the driver awake bah...what i saw from him was SACRIFICE. He gave up his rest. Perhaps that's what sacrifice means.. it must cost..be it financially or physically it costs. Thanks brother..

Finally i like to thank God for something so amazing. As some of you know whenever i travel long distance i would need the help of motion sickness pills. But this time round, with the rocky and uneven roads and the long journey and harsh weather conditions i don't need them and i didn't feel unwell. Praise God!!!

Each individual parts are the thoughts i've written down during the whole trip on each day...

Day 1:
Besides this being my first missions trip, it was also the first time i woke up so early. 4am.. wow! in fact i couldn't really sleep the night before as i was tossing and turing on the bed..wondering what lies ahead of me.."Will God speak to me?" Did my final packing and headed for the airport with Esther (my roommate during the trip). Special thanks to Marsli for fetching us to the airport. Despite the heavy rain Marsli sacrifice her rest and send us to the airport..this is what i call sacrifice. The team met at the airport @ 530am..everyone looking tired. I was first introduce to my new team mate -> Shawn who replace Qian ni.

Upon reaching Cambodia, my heart was filled with excitement.Fear from the day before was gone. What lies ahead for the 4 days i do not know. I just relied on faith that God will carry me through. The group managed to check in only @ 12 noon. After leaving our luggage with the hotel, we proceeded to their fast food chain -> "Lucky Burger" for lunch. This was the first time the team met and shared our personal objective for the trip. For many who know me, I am quite a shy person especially towards people i don't know. I would dare say for me to actually join another sub-d for missions is a break through and for me to share my personal objective with people whom i am meeting for the first/second time was another break through. After lunch, we met in Wanqi & Feili room for briefing. Again, this was a meeting of the whole team and was asked to share my difficulties i faced in coming for this trip. (it was impromptu) Being the shy me in front of a big group, it was yet another break through to share. After the briefing, sharing and praying, some of us headed to different destinations. For those who were in Cambodia for the first time, we visited the Tuol Sleng museum while the rest met up with Theresa (a christian missionary).

The visit to Tuol Sleng was a saddening yet awakening one. A little about the history of Tuol Sleng. "Tuol Sleng" is recognized as the location whre the Democratic Kampuchea (DK) regime, more commonly known was the Khmer Rouge (KR) regime, set up a prison to detain individuals accused of opposing Angkar. About 20,000 people were held as prisoners and only 7 survived. The smell of death hung heavy. As i walked through the individual rooms, exhibits..it made me wonder how can one man be so cruel to another fellow man. Fellow citizens. It came to this conclusion-> Man have sin. It's because of sin that these had happened. If people would have love for each other, these would not have happen..

Rushed back to the hotel to wash up and gather for dinner after that, we headed for Joko's place(an indonesian missionary) for prayer meeting. There were many people. Mostly missionaries. The first challenge came @ this point of time. As the place was over crowded and stuffy, i wasn't really concentrating. In fact, i was a little frustrated and wanted to leave. As i was having these negative feelings, there was something in me asking.." what's the reason you're here for." In fact, i knew this was God's voice. I decided to quieten down my heart and resolute to focus on meeting God. At that point, suddenly the air wasn't that stuffy anymore. The second challenge came when we were told to grab someone and pray for them. Deep in my heart, i have this fear of praying. No choice had to do it..i went up to an Ang Moh..had a short chat with her and asked her " what can i pray for you". As she was sharing with me, my heart feared yet i know it's something that i've got to overcome. After the sharing, i just prayed in faith. and Yes!! i did it..=)

As we headed back to our hotel, i saw how i overcame breakthroughs not by my own strength but by trusting in God..I knew more would breakthroughs would come the next few days..and i am ready and willing to be challenged..

|10:37 AM

Meiming. Mei. Princess3381
3 March 1981
Singapore.Holland Village
Meiming Wu

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