Gifts
Tuesday, November 28, 2006 |11:31 PM
Sounds nice eh?? It's the 9th week into my keyboard times flies eh..next week its presentation again!!! still thinking of what song to choose to present..it's more of a presentation to God..my Father, King, Brother etc...the list goes on and on..Looking back, i'm really glad Joel encouraged me to take up keyboard..if not i will never realise that my gift is actually in playing this instrument. For most people who don't know me..i have a well kept secret..let me reveal it. I actually have a Grade 8 in Piano. Please don't BLINK!!! yes..i do have..but due to laziness..i don't practice..so after not playing for many years. i finally have the courage to take it up again..and now then i realise what an amazing gift i have..gifted hands =)
With this pair of gifted hands, i desire to grow this gift..with this pair of hands..i want to play music that touches deep into people's hearts.. music that ministers to people..i realise in this world we have too much rubbish music, angry music etc..the music i play will not just be normal music. It will express the heartfelt gratitude, love for our Lord. The music willl bring believers to worship @ His feet. It will also bring non-believers to listen to the good news. yes..this is the kind of music i'll play..
Thank you Lord for this gift =)
Will there be open doors?
|12:46 AM
i was crying last night.coz i don't understand. I don't know if its a yes, no or wait. How i wish i knew but too bad i ain't God. I told wu puo i was sad..and wu puo reminded me of Romans 8:26-28. Many thoughts flood me..will God grant me the desires of my heart?? Last night, while praying i told God..i surrender. i don't want to struggle. whether its a yes, no or wait. till today i still don't know..i just ask for open doors
This morning..i went to the sinseh.thanks to an injured leg spent $20 argh..lucky the pain got better now. Headed back to office IT dept..my toot laptop went on strike yesterday. It didn't want me to work..Sabbath day..it wanted a rest also.guess who i saw sitting @ the IT counter..yes it's him. i also didn't know how to react. just said this:
"Hi, i thought you going to bangkok?"
He replied: "something wrong with my laptop. so re-schedule the flight. flying off @ 430pm."
then there was silence...i didn't know what to say..quickly repaired the laptop and went off without saying bye...sometimes i think, is God playing a joke on me?? why did He let me see him when i just prayed last night that i wanna surrender..
I'm getting tired...
Sunday, November 26, 2006 |8:38 PM
The past week has been one that was real tiring.. zzz..yes..today is sunday. and i finally realise..no energy =(..my whole week @ a glance:
Monday
My one and only rest day...the only day i managed to get home early to grab some rest..
Tuesday
Met up with the Perth ZPH'ers. yeah..been a long time since we met up..hmzzz 5 years?? If it wasn't for AQ's wedding..i doubt we will meet up..the group met @ Tun's restaurant @ VivoCity..Connie brought the "little prince" out..so cute loh...He is a happy boy..and i guess its attributed to his ever cheerful mum..cozai..he looks like a younger version of Papa Jem..Pic of "Little Prince'--> Ian Liang--->
Wednesday
Edwina & Kavin's wedding @ Pan Pacific..seeing them finally tying the knot. =) been 8 years down the road. It reminded me of how they went through the process..and how i was in the community of them getting together wow!!! A pic of the bride and me...My Childhood friend, housemate, ex colleague...
Thursday
Met up with Wu Puo & Shireen for steam bath @ California Fitnesss...very shiok..and relaxing..what a way for sisters gathering
Friday
Cg
Wow!!! Everyday of my life is jam packed!!! Life as a single is so busy.yes nothing but busy..busy with meeting people..busy with ministry...etc. Anyway, its 3 weeks before i leave my current job. how should i put it?? happy? sad? mixed feelings?? mixed feelings bah..sad to leave my wonderful consultants and him yet happy to leave such a political place. But for him i'm getting a little tired.. I duno if God will open doors. How i wish God will tell me directly if he is or is not the one for me..at least i know..how?? God please tell me..
Anyway it's 8 weeks into my believer's music course.today i just signed up for the next stage..so excited. i can't wait for the next stage to start..but through this course i learned some things about myself..i discovered i'm very prideful!! (gosh, i got to be slapped for this). Well, for some of you who don't know..i have a Grade 8 in Piano. (don't blink!) yes it's true..that's why naturally i tend to pick up very fast..then i get impatient with people who are very slow.. (jialat right??) how wrong was i to have this kind of attitude..actually the time i realise i have this attitude i faster repent liao. =(...i guess the whole course not only have enhanced my skills with the instrument, it has also allowed me to discover more of myself (the ugly & the good side)..and it definitely has brought my relationship with my Father closer..indeed in worship..we ought to have humility..For God resists the proud and gives grace to the humble.
Lord..give me gifted hands..hands that plays music that touches people's heart from deep within..overflowing from the inside to the outside...
Promises
Monday, November 20, 2006 |4:35 PM
Something in me wants to share this song with you all. Learned this song during P & W. This song came @ a time when i was wondering if i could ever cross all the obstacles during the time which i was so so so down...i wondered if i could ever trust in Him. Presenting the song..
PROMISES
Artist: Desperation Band
Album: Who are You (2006)
Singing all of Your promises won't let go of me (4x)
I surrendered my life to Your ways
I have learned what it means to obey
Jesus, my heart has been changed by You
I am walking the path You have made
I am seeking the truth everyday
Jesus, my heart has been changed by You
I couldn't walk away if i tried
'Cause Your love is better than life
Now the sun's shining bright and it just won't set
'Cause Your love is a light and it lights my step
My heart is amazed everyday to the next
Your joy overtakes and I can't forget about it
Woah-oh-oh
Woah-oh-oh
I can't forget about it
Woah-oh-oh
Woah-oh-oh
Woah-oh-oh
I can't forget about it
As i was singing this song, it spoke straight away to me..machiam like a stab in my heart. This song sticked right into my mind and i was ministered right away. Can you imagine a Praise song and someone can cry?? As i thought about the song, I knew God wanted to remind me of several things:
1) Joy and Hope
2) Great truth that many times believers conveniently forget
What's the great truth i'm mentioned about? Its the truth that God's love is better than life and His word never changes. We can trust in His character that it's never changing..His promises stand true throughout..good times bad times..He is still the same. Especially when circumstances in life don't seem to give us enough reason to be hopeful of tomorrows, when many things are uncertain and when the worries of life start to creep in again...As i went through the obstacles till this day, i truly believe that my Lord is never changing..i trust in His character. His faithfulness..I believe. How about you??
What's your 5 languages of love??
Sunday, November 19, 2006 |7:42 PM
I did this test about 1 year ago..this time i did it again..thinking if it will change..but then again i realise no!!! Here are the results.
Score Love Language
9 Words of affirmation
9 Quality Time
8 Receiving Gifts
4 Acts of Service
0 Physical Touch
So people, now u know wat is my 5 lanugages of love..you all can love me by this also..hahahaah
Dragon Boat 18 Nov 2006
Saturday, November 18, 2006 |11:48 PM
Had our outreach event today. After the weeks of preparation, finally we held our 1st ever Dragon Boat clinic. Preparation wasn't easy. This time i was no longer in charge of the finances. James changed my role. This time i was in charged of publicity. Something which i have never done before. When James first asked me to take up this role. I wasn't too certain about it as well. (i always felt very inadequate) but i agreed to. Having to do something different required me to move out of my comfort zone. (something which i hated). The sub-d prayed for good weather & good response. Yes..indeed weather was good. Super sunny and i got more tanned (yeah yeah yeah!!). Response wasn't that good. but never mind. I believe there will be more to come =).
The group was divided into 2 smaller groups. 27 of us aspired to row all the way to Fullerton from Kallang Water Sports Centre. Thanks to some of us being over zealous and over ambitious..but a great workout for those who always hide in the shade. some pictures for ya..
Wu Puo, Wu Puo's Husband & Wu Gui!
Wu Puo & Wu Gui doing Warm up!
Fullerton Dream...
decisions..
Friday, November 17, 2006 |1:09 AM
I've made an important decision. i've informed my mentor that i will tender within the next few days..this didn't come as a shocked..frankly after i made this decision. I felt a huge relief in my heart..basically now its a time of reflection of all the things that happened during my stay here and i will still be doing jobs and guess what..i've already prepared my farewell mails. =) damn fast right?? While i was reflecting..many thoughts came to my mind:
1) attitude - the way i handled everything showed that there was a change in my attitude towards matters and people. I used to be more emotional but this time everything i do is more rational. considering the pros and cons before i act. Not dwelling in negativity but having a positive outlook.. not gossiping, not getting angry and frustrated but having a gentle & quiet spirit.
2) relationship - as i mentioned relationships between humans are not always pretty. Some are unbelivably ugly. One of the greatest sacrifices of love is to pray for those who are unlovely and unloving...even those who have harmed us. it takes great courage but its the best thing that we can do. Love is caring about God's eternal relationship with others.
This is something which i want to mention..for those reading my blog out there and have tons of comments be it good or bad..actually i've seen and i'm able to track what have been said but i choose not to react with anger. Many things have been said but let me share this with you all..applying what i've learn from my trials and tribulations. I need not any of your praises..the one thing i need is validation from my Lord. That's the most important thing to me in my life. For those who are commenting why i am called princess let me kindly explain to you all..
"But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are a kingdom of priests, God's holy nation, his very own possession. This is so you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of darkness into his wonderful light."
1 Peter 2:9
For those who do not know..as God's chosen people..i've been called a princess by the Lord himself already. I don't need any validation from any of you. Say what you like. Thanks..
my desire...Hope in the Lord..Be still
Thursday, November 16, 2006 |12:04 AM
Some might laugh @ me..some might think i am dreaming..but i really would like to share this deep desire inside my heart...which i always wanted to tell u all..my desire:
"I have a desire..a burning desire to see the nations worship God..a desire to see myself leading not only people in the cg..but people in church, people in the congregation, people in God's kingdom into worship. A worship that's deep from within the heart..the kind of worship whereby people like us worship Him in Spirit and in Truth.yes this is me..this is my desire."
Despite the difficult times...i still want to declare this truth..this truth screaming in my heart:
" My hope is in the Name of the Lord. where my Help comes from. You're my strength, my song. My Trust is in the Name of the Lord. I will Sing your praise. You are Faithful."
Still
Hide me now,
under Your wings.
Cover me, within your mighty hand.
When the oceans rise and thunders roar,
I will soar with You, above the storm.
Father, You are King over the flood.
I will be still and know You are God.
Find rest my soul,
In Christ alone.
Know His power,
in quietness and trust.
just a little note
Tuesday, November 14, 2006 |8:14 AM
if some of you all notice. i have this counter thingy "blogpatrol" just a little piece of information. This enables me to track the IP address of whoever comes in and also it enables me to see where u are coming in from and which page u viewed most. so for some out there who thinks they can go around criticizing people. think again before you act..thanks
i miss him
Monday, November 13, 2006 |8:38 PM
yeap..i guess i will be missing him for the next 3 weeks @ least..he's going for reservist...initially he wanted to defer it.but i don't know what happen. =(.
step into office late this morning and was pleasantly surprised that he's in as well..(cause i thought he will be out @ tuas). finally lawrence is back..chatted with lawrence, ian and the rest..but i guess i was trying to ignore his presence. in fact i guess i was trying not to talk to him. (not that i don't like talking to him) it's just that i didn't want to initiate the chat. In fact, i've been praying that if God has him in mind for me.i would like him to be the one who initiates our conversation most of the time. (it's really a waiting period for me). God didn't say No, but neither did He say Yes..the answer was went hand in hand with my prayer for my job. Endure & Persevere.
While i was doing my stuff 1/2 way and listening to the songs on my mp3.He started to ask me " not going out today." yeap i was surprised and happy..=) *giggles* then we started to chat on msn..while i was teasing him that he's having a fun time of his life @ tuas..and i was telling him "shiok ah..3 whole weeks on leave. no need work." then he said " i'll be serving the nation for 3 whole weeks!" deep down while i was making fun of him, i knew i miss him..but yet i can't express it out..@ this moment can only cry out to God..that if he's meant to be the one,then let God open the doors bah..
Peace
Wednesday, November 08, 2006 |2:58 PM
For some who have read my earlier posts. i guess people who knows me will know the situation i'm going through right now @ work. In fact, i've been praying about changing of jobs and where God wants me to be in life. I prayed for open doors.and on my part i sent resumes out..
Just had an interview with UOB bank and having another interview later... of coz i was happy that i'm receiving calls for interviews..deep down i know i am struggling..why do i say that??
Yesterday i went for my keyboard class.and i was speaking to my instructor..she knows of my situation because she was asking me about it the week before..so yesterday she asked me:
esther:"so how are things @ work??"
me:" eh..ok.slightly better..having interviews coming up."
esther:" oh..very happy for you..but do you feel the peace of God??"
me:" eh..hmzzz...."
Well, i guess esther is sent from God.."Do i feel the peace??" Seriously i don't..it's a struggle that nobody can see. What if after the interviews i am offered the jobs?? Right now, i don't feel the peace.i can honestly say that. God has been telling me "hang on..hang on..endure.." yet my rebellious nature tells me to "go ahead.."
God i need confirmation from You..one more time...make it clear.
breakthrough
Tuesday, November 07, 2006 |10:43 PM
if u have been following my blog closely..or some of you might know me personally i guess u all know about the problems in my life right now... i was just reflecting on it...my reactions if it was the me in the past vs the current me...
The past me:
for sure i will whine non-stop about it and become very negative...i will think why god put me through it...why this why that...then i'll go through the emotional cycle...and thoughts of whether god is real and will he bless me...
The current me:
the 1st person i go to is God himself..because i trust in his promises and his character. i worship Him through playing the keyboard and i cry out to Him..but yet in it all i know He is with me..my heart desire is that no matter what situation i'm in right now..God's glory must be shown in it..yes, the problem is big..but God is bigger than the problem..and the problem shouldn't become little Gods in our life
The change didn't come easy..alot of moulding.the process was hard..It took loads of willingness to let God be God...and let Him be in charge. On my part, it took me discipline to walk close to Him. To discipline myself to read His word and lots of faith too. =)
Lily among thorns..the essence of a set-apart young woman
Monday, November 06, 2006 |9:02 PM
"Like lily among the thorns, so is my darling among the maidens."
Song of Songs 2:2
"Jesus Christ is your true Prince. The One who gave His very life just to be with you, the One who can rescue you from the dungeon you are in, the One who can transform you into a radiant princess, the One who can carry you away to His beautiful land to cherish you forever. He is the only One who can meet your deepest longings; He is the one One worthy of your entire heart, life, soul, and body - all you are and all you have. Jesus Christ is the Prince you should passionately pursue with all your heart."
The life of a princess who has found her true Prince:
She lives a life with her Prince that is utterly different from the world around her. She is radiant. She is confident. She is fulfilled. She possesses a truly authentic beauty that flows from within. She is a world changer. She is set apart in complee and utter devotion to her Prince. And she stand out from among all other young women like a lily among thorns.
A tough week
Sunday, November 05, 2006 |7:38 PM
*phew*..it's been a long & rough week..a week i hope i will not have to go through. I'm glad it's finally Sunday and tmw will the beginning of a new week.. A week which i am waiting for answers and calls--> Anticipation!
Met shireen up for shepherding yesterday to see bridal packages. whaaa...super tiring sia..walk and walk and sit down in each one to listen to them selling them packages. .pushing for sales..Shireen ended up in Z wedding. Package sounds reasonable and the gowns are also quite nice =) A picture of Shireen trying a gown.
I was treated to dinner last night @ Manhattan Fish. Something quite similar to Fish & Co but cheaper and tastes nice also =) Thanks to XQ for his generousity!
Grilled Butter Prawns
Seafood Platter for 2 but 3 of us ate it..*yummy*
Didn't manage to make it for the CMI prayer meeting. By the time i woke up already 9.30am liao get ready...already 10.30am. Msg Jasmine & Addy..but they tell me finished already! During service today..a sister gave a prophecy..which reads:
Psalm 42: 5-6 (NIV)
' Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God '
After she said this, then she continued to speak of Psalm 27 which reads..
1 The LORD is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?
2 When evil men advance against me
to devour my flesh,
when my enemies and my foes attack me,
they will stumble and fall.
3 Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then will I be confident.
4 One thing I ask of the LORD,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple.
5 For in the day of trouble
he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle
and set me high upon a rock.
6 Then my head will be exalted
above the enemies who surround me;
at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make music to the LORD
7 Hear my voice when I call, O LORD;
be merciful to me and answer me.
8 My heart says of you, "Seek his face!"
Your face, LORD, I will seek.
9 Do not hide your face from me,
do not turn your servant away in anger;
you have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
O God my Savior.
10 Though my father and mother forsake me,
the LORD will receive me.
11 Teach me your way, O LORD;
lead me in a straight path
because of my oppressors.
12 Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,
for false witnesses rise up against me,
breathing out violence.
13 I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.
14 Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.
Indeed, God knows what i am going through..Yes! I will Wait for the Lord, Be strong and take heart..=)
People @ Work
Wednesday, November 01, 2006 |9:50 PM
I've decided to post some of the pics with my colleagues..most of the pictures are taken with people who are closer to me like pics with Oddette, Jeannie & Warna. While another picture is taken with some people who are truly real & people who pretend to be real..
Anyone remember the mgr i posted about in my previous post? The mgr who backstabs people, have extremely good technical knowledge yet bad EQ, bad management skills...i decided to FORGIVE him..well..this is part of learning to love people with God's love..plus today.while reading a chapter in a book..i still learn that i must love him by praying for him. What sparked of this thought?? Many may wonder. Well this the book i am currently reading, there's this part which says:
" Relationships are not always pretty. Some are unbelivably ugly. One of the great sacrifices of love is to pray for those who are unlovely and unloving...even those who have harmed us...Pray for God's best in the lives of those who you find troublesome or difficult."
Amen to that..i must learn to love him..and forgive him. If he's petty on his part, but there's nothing much i can do about it.
I've also decided to move on..currently on the lookout for jobs in the commercial sector. Have actually spoken to the Company's HR and told her about my request of transferring of dept..Pray for me lah..=)
Now that i'm learning to love people regardless whether they are lovable or ain't so..i also wanna Pursue Peace.
"Seek peace and pursue it." - Psalm 34:14
What is peace?? Peace can be described as a state of mind that is free from annoyance, distraction, and anxiety. It is a quiet knowing that God can be trusted. It provide undeniable serenity and calim within your soul that is worth far more than gold.
ok...enough of writing some recent pics for you..
P R O F I L E