Life has really been tough for me especially in my new company since i've just known today that i've stepped on manager's tail. Guess what. The best part is that it have been so long and only till now my mentor told me. The better part is that the manager whose tail i step on went around spreading and backstabbing me to the other mgrs. What good management skills the managers has? i wonder besides technical knowledge and IQ, does EQ counts?? If it does, i would say he fails badly. I'm glad i was given the chance to voice my comments on the whole matter.

I guess through out the many years of working one thing i know-> it's better to be more vocal. Sometimes i wonder why did i end up in such a political place? With so many managers leaving, does the future looks bleak? At the moment it really does. The workplace is a warzone. I hate to be stuck in such political situations. But what really can i do?? Why did God give me the word -> Persevere?? I know He will bring me through it..I know my Lord is greater than the people in this world. I trust Him for His word and His promises. I trust that He will make me the head & not the tail. No matter how unfair the world may be, my Lord is a just God.

I guess in life trials & tribulations will come our way. This phase is a period, a season of my life and once i go through it, my character will be moulded. I shan't dwell in this but i will move on in life trusting my Lord for what He says.

After working for so many years, one value i know i hold on to:

" You can play the defensive game. But never never backstab people."

i just came back from the Cg retreat 2006.very tiring..but very fun as it was a good time of sharing our lives together & celebrating our dear "wu pou"- shufen birthday. kicked off the retreat by meeting @ east coast..thanks to HH & SF that this kind hearted couple drove us to east coast. XQ & Jem planned that we shall go kayaking! Hmzz..talking about kayaking, it's my first time that i'm doing it.though i have canoe in the past before. the girls - Shufen, shireen & me were making noise saying that we don't know how to kayak..so we decided to split up in the following:

- James & Shireen

- Hanhui & Shufen

- Jarain & Me

- Jianyang

We played some team building games @ the sea. Though the sun was blasting hot, but i really enjoyed myself. Thanks to XQ & Jem who really put in effort to plan the events.

The Cg checked into the Hotel Asia @ around 3pm and we headed to our rooms to wash up. Dinner was @ Balestier and the whole group had Bak Kut Teh. After that XQ gave us a task, we were split into 2 groups and we only have a $5 budget to buy breakfast for Sunday for the other group. Amazing how we were able to do it and my dear brothers & sisters bought me my favourite bread - Gardenia Raisin Bread.whaa.. "Ai Xin" breakfast.

Subsequently we made our way back to the hotel to celebrate SF birthday..yes..my "wu pou" turn 26. i'm so glad to have this sister in the cg. Her presence has really brought much joy into the group. HH & her is really a blessing to us.. Maybe the part of making me pray for her..should i put it as a privilege?? yeap the usual me..someone who's afraid to pray in a big group is slowly overcoming my fear. Thankie for giving me the chance.

After all the celebration, we had a short game about team building and XQ shared with us the things which will be happening this few months till Xmas..What are the roles we play?? The usual me..who talks non stop without thinking mutter this:

" My role is to lead you all into deeper worship with God! With keyboard, i'll lead you all into worship to meet God in an even deeper way!"

As i recall now, cham liao..i anyhow talk again! But if God really give me the talent in music, i really would like to bring my CG people deeper into His presence. well well...we all as Christ followers must love worshipping God..because when we go up to heaven, that's what we will be doing!

To end this post, i really wanna thank the brothers & sisters in my cg. The times we share, the ups & downs, it's through all these that the group will learn to place our trust in God that He's in the whole picture. Praise to Him!

The small ones

The Bigger ones..

That's not all..actually still got alot more..but just keep liao.....unbelievable those who gave me these cards are people whom i've come across in my walk with God these 10 years amazing..how all these people-> connie yee, andrew ong, peggy wong, audrey wee, eileen lee, hazel chew, celine cheng, michelle chong, doreen, pearl-li, vanessa, jarain, damien pang, teck keong, eileen ho, shireen sim, AQ, joel oon and my cgs..these people be it my mentor, friend, leaders have all impacted me in one way or another..and reading of these cards really touch me. All the encouragement which really lifts my spirit up. thanks to you all who have impacted my life and left such significance.

love ya all so much

sunday concludes the end of the week for me.slept late last night due to studying. but never reach church late today.*hee* i was even earlier than shireen.i knew it coz she never msg me mah..usually she will msg me and ask if i'm on my way..so today it's my turn to ask her "are you on your way?" *smiles*

Received a gift from a very cute couple today my Da-ge aka "Pui-eh" and my Da-sao, Jeremy and Joel. I really thank God for this couple who always without fail encourage me. Times when i am down and worn out..and times when i am upup..they also will encourage me..Show you all gift...i so "bu she de" to eat it leh

Hello Kitty container

A gift from Jem & Joel

The biscuit..Hello Kitty Face! How to eat??

Had shepherding with shireen today..we kept walking and walking and share things loh..shepherding is a time which i enjoy alot..and we were talking about her wedding and it was more like confirmed that i will be appointed keyboardist..my debut appearance! While on our way back, James ask me this question:

James: "When you getting a sheep of your own?"

Me: "I want to leh. But nobody out there."

James:" Must outreach."

Me: "I hope to bring small hazel back. But i can't get her. still trying to. But abit discourage when i can't get her."

I got off the bus..i wish i am able to get someone.my spirit is willing.

it's midway through Oct'06..soon Nov is coming and yes..it's once again the time for Christmas..a season i love coz i get alot of presents *gee* and then it'll be a New Year again..2007.very fast..as i was making up just now..i was pondering about the resolutions i set @ the beginning of the year..2 major ones:

1) To go for missions trip

2) Take up keyboard

and it's Oct'06..and i've done both..*clap clap* it's unusual for a person like me to do it.coz i normall break my resolutions ok! Other minor achievements for the year so far is that..doing QT is no longer a chore..and reading..and i mean Christian Books also..To evaluate 2006, i would say it's has been a good year except for a few trials & troubles along the way. I guess God has been good and i mean real good to me. I better start thinking of my resolutions of 2007..two of it is @ least confirmed:

1) Missions 2007..and i hope it'll be longer

2) Play keyboard for cg & shireen wedding.

I know it's possible coz God is a God of all possibles..yeah yeah yeah!

We just had CG @ my place earlier on..have to hit back to my books later..it's refreshing to be in the presence of God and His people..fellowship..and we had steamboat. the shopping together for food and the cutting of things..A little of the conversation between shufen & me at NTUC..

Me: "Eh..buy honeydew leh!"

Shufen:"how to choose?"

Me:" I don't know! let's ask.. i grab the NTUC auntie..and started asking her."

And i see shufen happily choosing.. Upon reaching my place we were busy preparing for food..and we realise Hanhui talent..he can go and be sushi chef.slice the fish so nicely & arranging it so nicely. wow all of us..Mr TK joined us too..we were all so full and so much food left over and had to end up playing the "number guessing game" the fortunate me didn't eat..and most the food landed with Shireen & James..*laugh laugh*

Had a sharing of the topic of "growth". Growth must be intentional. I was sharing with the CG on how i grow myself:

a) I discipline myself to read God's word on a daily basis before i go to work. It's a good practice as i train myself to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit

b) On my way to work, instead of appreciating the beautiful things around me, I would spend time praying and reading christian books.currently on the book "Pathway to Purpose for women" I know God speaks to me through reading..so i train myself to read and be sensitive.

In conclusion, i believe God will bring me to greater heights with Him as the days pass..so for those who wanna grow with God..make it intentional..it has to be a delibrate effort. =) looking forward to the CG retreat next week

These few days besides preparing for my exam next week. It was also a time of intensely seeking God. Especially in my career. I don't know where God wants to lead me. Neither do i have a clear idea whether He wants me to stay on in my job or just quit. As i earnstly seek Him, I got an answer-> Persevere. Yes. The words God gave me were Endure & Persevere. I don't know what lies ahead of me. But since God tells me to Endure & Persevere, I'll just do it loh. =) no point arguing. no point taking my own directions. Seriously i am not someone who is very sensitive to God's small still voice. The way He speaks to me is through passages I read..Recently my readings have been all relating trials and troubles..2 days ago this verse came to me:

" We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed and broke. We are perplexed, but we don't give up and quit. We are hunted down, but God never abandons us. We get knocked down, but we get up again and keep going."

2 Corinthians 4: 8-9

It's amazing..how God have already spoken to me a few days ago even before i had my troubles..So i've decided to stay on in my current job..As i decided to stay on..another surprise came..someone whom i didn't expect (this person whom i thought detested me) added me on his msn..quite a surprise.God plant little surprises into my life and I'm amazed @ His grace towards me.

i finally finished a book which was given to me about 2 years back by my brother, Andrew. The book entitled "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World" was given to me in 2004 on my 23rd birthday. At that time when Andrew gave me a book. i was like:

"Eh..why book?? u know i don't like reading mah.."

How time flies 2 years have passed and i finally finished it. Through the weeks of reading..i've been constantly reminded of managing my life & balancing it. Being in the Kitchen (serving God)& in the Living Room ( sitting @ the Lord's feet) between these 2, we can strike a balance..and it'll be a continual process.

Recently i've been kinda of discouraged.Over my job. Over BGR. First came the word "ENDURANCE". Next came the word "Perseverance". In the area of my job, what is it that i want? Do i want to stay on or do i want to move on? If i stay on what are the prospects? If i move on, will have so much time to serve God? In the area of BGR, how long more will God answer? When will i see God in the picture? When i hear things like "God is in control" it sounds very cliche..But yet i can't do anything much..but just believe..Why did God give me the word Perseverance??? Is God using the trials to test me? i ponder..i ain't sure also..until i came across this today..

" My strength is not found in how intensely I struggle...but in how completely I surrender." When we come to the end of ourselves and our abilities, when we relinquish our lives, Jesus promises to use them. Little is much when God is in it. Especially if that little something is you and me. He will use you to accomplish gret things on the condition that you believe much more in His Love than in your own weakness.

When we surrender our lives to Jesus Christ, we release the Lord of the Process to do His work. For it is in our weakness that Christ is strong. It is in our inadequacy that we find him more than sufficient. And it is in our willingness to be broek that he brings wholeness - more wholeness and completeness than we ever dreamed possible..

currently in my mid 20s..i feel like i am over the hill..it's just like a few years ago when i turn 18 then i turn 21..and now i am 25! 2007 is only 3 mths away.and when it hits 2007. i be 26..well @ this age..i face many issues..top of it would be 1) career ; 2) marriage

i've been working for around 4-5 years already. long eh? having done external audit vs internal audit. i would say life in external audit more *siong* but then more exciting. internal audit is boring. seriously i really not too sure which way i wanna go too haizz..was thinking commercial leh?? internal audit..but then i wouldn't have the kinda of freedom that i enjoy.going in to office @9+ and leaving early..how?? tmw got interview. external audit..if i am offered should i take?? i also not too sure...pray pray pray

next issue i face is marriage..many many friends around me settling down..makes me anxious.will i ever be left on the shelf? when will i ever get noticed? these issues are so real..duno if anyone experience all these also. seeing someone u like around yet can't do anything but wait..it gets upsetting many times. what can i do?? nothing..really nothing except pray pray pray...i remembered asking siew yee. " how do you pray for this area??" and siew yee said when you are desperate you will know how to..ya i understand what it means..i wonder when will God open the doors.What will i do if i dont' get married by 30?? leave for another country?? so avoid people around me..seriously i also duno..i wish to be forever young.

didn't step out of house yesterday coz was studying for my upcoming exams..kinda of anxious..coz still got 1 more chapter to go.*jia you*! shireen came my house yesterday for shepherding. sometimes though i may get angry that she don't understand me.but i am also thankful that she cares about me. *hmpf*.had a heart to heart talk with shireen ytd..was telling her my worries in my job, my fears of not getting married also and of coz i did tell her i want to follow up on people. But then.no one for me to follow up leh. anyway i did tell her saying that I did pray that God will drop someone from the sky to let me share Christ. Although i am afraid but i know i must and i will overcome this fear!!!

This morning was the 1st missions ic prayer meet.for people who know me.i dislike waking up early. especially on sunday morning when i can sleep in longer zzzzz. Surprisingly, i woke up @ 8+ this morning after a long night. (hmzz i studied till 2+ last night) Didn't laze on bed and got ready to head for the prayer meet. Another surprise as i reached there. I saw someone who was there. Someone i didn't expect. =) I shan't disclose who is it. Go guess yourself bah. But it was a BONUS! Well..as a girl especially a Christian girl..you can't really do anything about this kinda of things. All you can do is PRAY & PRAY and ask God is it a Yes, No or Wait?? For me..i ask God..if it's in His will, then open doors bah.If not, then forget it. Over the years, i also learn not to "jump the gun". If God say Yes, then Yes bah..so those concern about me hor..pray for me also..

After church i went to Plaza SG. Wanted to buy cross stich but couldn't find anything nice @ Spot light..ended up in SaSa and bought nail polish & those stickers for nails *hiaks hiaks* anyway i beautified my nails liao...some pictures eh...i can save $$$ liao!!

My art piece not bad right???

today's posting is past my mid week..so glad it's friday tmw.started the week on a relatively slow pace. was suppose to have to meeting on monday morning 10am..but then Ee Jian & me both blur..thought was 4pm so none of us turn up..in the end had to postpone the meeting to tues.thankfully David was very nice to us. =)

Tues was keyboard day..yeah..my keyboard lesson in Believer music..getting interesting..but i was kinda hoping that i could go for the earlier class coz the class abit late 815pm..so by the time it ended was already 915..so sleepy liao..

Wed: first time watching movie with Shufen. We wanted to go VivoCity to watch "World Trade Center" but then..the time don't fit..there was a 645pm show..but it's Gold class..i don't know wat's Gold class..so i ask Shufen..

Me: "Eh..got show..645pm..but Gold Class..what is Gold Class???"

Shufen:" I don't know leh.."

Me:" ok..never mind. I go check."

4+pm

Shufen: " i know what is Gold Class already!! Got leather seats..1 ticket cost $30!"

ok people..now i know what is GOLD class already..$30..so expensive..i rather spend it on eating!!!

Today..met Joel for dinner & catching up..i love spending time with this sister..hmz.coz i think she is one of the few who understands me loh..sometimes i really think..i am such a misunderstood person. So its hard for people who really know me..i really appreciate Joel..for being so understanding leh =)..i treasure this sister/ta-sao of mine. *hugs*. Today, i went with Joel to Far East and i decorated my phone..sorry pics of the phone be up later..k??

Finally, latest news while i am writing this post..my cousin's wife just gave birth..yipee...got babies to play with me liao!!!!!

life has been slightly busier for me.which i would say is good..coz i realised i was moving in 1st gear for the past few weeks.now i am on jobs and i am learning stuff. *winks* so great.i wish to learn more..if God really wants me to be in this job..then i really hope that i really get to learn stuff instead of just sitting around...anyway today i had my 2nd class in Believer Music..as the course journeys through..i am so excited. =) today someone the instructor shared this with us..

"Imagine how the earth rotates around the sun? There is a way it rotates & it's very systematic..In the solar system.there are alot of combats..if the way anyhow rotate then we'll all be in trouble...Just as our life..God is like the sun while we are earth..our lives should be revolving around God just like the earth rotates around the sun. The things we face in our lives are the combats..if we anyhow move not in God's way..we will be hit by the combats..but if we revolved our lives around God..then everything is going to be in place.."

Another wedding..finally 2 down..*phew*. I guess during this time of the year, it's really the season of marriage. so many couples settling down. yesterday was my colleague-Sharon's wedding..so glad to have met up with some of the girls from BDO & also Deloitte..Anyway nothing much to blog leh...just posting some photos of the wedding =)

Girls on Table 10 with the Bride

woke up with a swollen eye this morning. damn jialat..duno what's wrong also. while looking into the mirror notice that 1 eye big 1 eye small damn terrible..anyway i had a super sweet dream last night. shan't mention about it.but it was real sweet *drools*

finally out on job again. life is real boring especially when you slack in the office and simply do nothing and i mean NOTHING! everyday is like la-la land haha..anyway will be kinda of stress for the next few days.coz my dear boss wants the presentation to be done on Thursday morning -10 am.damn cham!! Alot of interview with the client's personnel..argh!!

ok..coming to the juicy part of the post. I had my first keyboard class @ Believer's music today. My class only had 5 people. We did a short introduction of ourselves- name, church, music background & first impression of God. The theme for the whole course as i journey through the 12 weeks is -" Discovering God". As i was thinking, "Discovering God" what does it mean to me? Fresher understanding of Him? His character, nature etc..yeap..by worshipping I can also discover more of Him. Today the instructor also shared about the Lord as the Almighty Creator. First song learn for the term is "Here I am to worship". How does this link? In fact this morning, i was reading a book & i was reminded once again -" Jesus is the Saviour, but is He the Lord of your life?"

Lyrics in "Here I am to worship" goes:

Here I am to worship
Here I am to bow down
Here I am to say that You're my God..

Yes the answer is found here..You're my God.. I was once reminded that Jesus not only have to be the Saviour but also the Lord of my life and there is a need to declare His Lordship. =) I really enjoyed today's class because it's really biblical.. in fact i thought it would be run in a commercial sense. But the instructors really teach & the foundations of worship is built upon knowing God. To sum it up, in worshipping we'll constantly need to examine our heart condition. Skills are be learn, but it's the heart that matters, the desire to worship God in Spirit & in truth

*cheers*

zi lian kuang - ME

Meiming. Mei. Princess3381
3 March 1981
Singapore.Holland Village
Meiming Wu

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