Diary~♥

It's inner beauty that really counts

Saturday, May 17, 2008 |2:46 AM

in the wee hours in the morning...i was reading from www.asiaone.com i love to read from this website. it gets updated regularly and i can find many things through it...came across this interesting article which i would love to share it with many people out there.

It's inner beauty that really counts

In my previous two columns, I discussed the beauty of the human form. I pointed out that the physical features we find attractive in men and women tend to be those that denote health and vigour. I said that while it is natural to admire beautiful faces and to want to look attractive, it is important to keep a sense of proportion.

There is no harm in wanting to look nice. If this means getting plenty of sleep, eating nutritious food, exercising regularly and taking care of your personal grooming, then so much the better. Physical beauty signifies good health. So it seems appropriate to pursue beauty by adopting a healthy lifestyle.

Outer and inner beauty

But a healthy lifestyle can only achieve so much. Most of us fall far short of the ideal of physical beauty, even if we take good care of ourselves. Fortunately, there are many ways to be beautiful. Physical appearance is only part of the story.

In his book, Learning From Wonderful Lives, Cambridge University psychologist, Dr Nick Baylis, writes: 'I always thought how pleasing it would feel to be really beautiful - head-turningly handsome - so the women whose admiration I sought would recoil slightly in open-mouthed awe, which is what I seemed to do when confronted by someone stunning.'

I suspect many of us have indulged in similar thoughts. But Dr Baylis goes on to say that he eventually came to realise that his initial response to someone's physical beauty wore off predictably after a few occasions: '(After that) I seemed to crave only companionship and a refreshing stream of energy and bright ideas that never ran dry.'

There is more to beauty than meets the eye. Outer beauty makes a hell of a first impression. But a deeper, inner beauty is required to sustain interest.

What do I mean by inner beauty? Well, just as there are external features (unblemished skin, lustrous hair, toned muscles, etc) that we find attractive in others, so there are internal qualities that arouse our admiration: confidence, courage, kindness, intelligence and a sense of humour, to name a few.

When, as a young man, I first read Jane Austen's Pride And Prejudice, I fell violently in love with the heroine, Elizabeth Bennett. This had nothing to do with the way she looked. What attracted me was her personality - an intoxicating blend of charm, wit, good humour and feistiness that still captivates me to this day.

'We'd be making a great mistake to judge ourselves by the way we look," says Dr Baylis, 'because that's only a fraction of what true beauty is all about. We know from the studies of many lifetimes that humans find a balance of loving and confidence, and kindness and humour, to be highly attractive.'

Unlike outer beauty, which is immediately apparent to the most casual observer, inner beauty can be fully appreciated only by those who get to know us. It takes time for inner beauty to make an impact. But when it does, its effects are wide-reaching. Often, once we have come to appreciate someone's inner beauty, we begin to see them through new eyes.

Many of us will have had the experience of finding someone physically attractive, even though we know they are actually not that good-looking. Somehow their personality, charm, goodness, wit or energy seems to shine through.

And the wonderful thing about inner beauty is that it endures. Physical beauty cannot last. No amount of anti-wrinkle cream or cosmetic surgery can shield us forever from the ravages of time. But there is no age limit on courage, kindness or sense of humour. Inner beauty can last a lifetime.