Diary~♥

Over are the darkest days of my life

Wednesday, December 03, 2008 |10:35 PM

You know there is a common saying that everyone experience different seasons of our life. I just went through i would say "the darkest season of my life" for my whole 27 years ago. But through it all i am so thankful God didn't give up hope on me. In fact, He held me, watched over me and make sure i overcome it. Now i can cheerfully say i have overcome it. Better than before. Stronger than before. Wiser than before. Let me start by thanking the following people:

1) God (Himself for being so faithful)

2) My family, CG, shepherds, friends (for being so supportive)

Without all of you, i wouldn't have been able to go through it. You know who you are.

Somehow in this post i wanted to share with some of you "Part 2" of "The forgiving Heart of God". But Part 2 is named as " Over are the darkest days of my life". I decided to give it a different name because since forgiveness has been found i wanted something new.

After releasing forgiveness in my life towards-> Mr Thomas Chew, i receive an email from this girl. Sorry not revealing her name to protect her identity. But what she sent shocked me..actually she has been following my blog for sometime (thank you my dear girl if you are still following my blog) and she said the guy i described was very familiar and she asked where he worked. I replied to her email and-> Bingo it was the same guy. She left her no. for me and we talked to discover so many things. The surprising thing was that when i knew it was the same guy, i wasn't angry with him. Nope not a single bit. The word to use was "peace". The kind of peace no one can give except for God, Himself. I think i was cooler than a cucumber leh! Hiaks hiaks. In fact i shared with her more about him and my observations about him. We hit it off there and then. :) amazing right?

Even though i know how he cheated on me. I was cool, calm and peaceful. Unbeliveable, but you got to try it for yourself. I would dare say if not because i didn't hold on to the bitterness and i dispense forgiveness i wouldn't have behave this way. I told her this:

me:" i am very confident and i trust God that in time to come He will give me someone who really really loves me. Love me for who i really am. This is how much i trust Him for it."

As i know about the guy background, there was a sense of overwhelming sympathy for him. (dont worry i can differentiate it against loving him). Someone who doesn't know who his mum is since birth, hates his dad for remarrying. Hates his family. Someone who never experience what true love is. Of course, he doesn't know how to love someone. Someone who holds on to so much bitterness and unforgiveness in his heart. How can love ever flow in and out of his life? For someone who never had a mother's love, i believe he desire the attention in his life. That's why he tries to find girls to love him. So he play mind games and manipulate people. Its scary yet pitiful. I told the girl, he has 心病 and these kind need to go through healing. He is so unaware of himself or maybe if he is..he choose to deny it. I don't hate him, i felt he is pitiful. I hope in time to come i be able to pray for him and help him. But that time, it will be a partnership with my future husband that God is giving me and with God Himself. :)