Diary~♥

my first post for 2009

Thursday, January 01, 2009 |8:43 PM

Its the virgin post for 2009. had a quiet countdown for 2008. yesterday the unit played the game 食字路口 at chinatown. whahhaa..its very tiring lo. but luckily we won!!! anyway it doesn't really matters which group win lah..its the happiness and fun in it. :)

Today, i woke up at 930am. Didn't have my 8 hours of beauty sleep cause after getting home last night, i was busying watching my taiwanese show 命中注定我爱你 *hiaks hiaks* watched till 3+ not bad huh? heh heh.

Being in a new year, i do have many great expectations but yet in my heart i have alot of worries. Remember my previous post which talks about my hopes/goals for 2009. One of it is to have a soul mate. Actually, i have been pondering upon that. I have anxiety (will that hope come? who? when?), impatience, doubts and much questions about the future.

I'll be honest. It's easy to hang these two words "Trust God" on one's lips but it's not all-too-easy to truly believe in it and do it from the heart. In fact, over the past few days, i was doing my quiet time and in the book of Jeremiah 32, it tells about how God instructed Jeremiah to buy land that was about to become the possession of Jerusalem's captors, so this would seemed a very odd thing to do. But Jeremiah did it as part of his faith pledge. It showed Jeremiah obeyed God's instructions to purchase a land. Anyway, the whole chapter is telling how we ought to trust God, not necessarily because we understand, but more because God knows the future and He is trustworthy.

It further tells how Jeremiah debated in his mind whether or not following God's instructions was a wise move. Although his heart was to follow God by faith, his natural mind struggled to comprehend such a transaction. (this was very much how i felt many times!) Too often, i debate in my mind. Will God provide? Is it wise? But as i remembered how desperate i was when there were no sisters in my cg and how perservance paid off and now there are so many sisters, i also want to see how God will send that soulmate to me.

To end off my virgin post for 2009, what i learn from Jeremiah 32 is this:

" Having faith in God does not mean there is an absence of doubt, instead, it is a choice to overcome doubt."