Diary~♥

the unhappy moments of the week

Saturday, May 09, 2009 |11:42 AM

Just last week , my church started on the book of Joel. Even from the beginning, to it felt like a book that is very 'heavy' as it's talking about answering God's calling for a revival. But what struck me most was this:

'Before there is a revival, the prerequisite is that ourselves have to recognise the need for it and this can be done by evaluating our lives constantly.'

What is shared above is so real, yet as christians, many of us are missing this truth totally. We talk about revival, we preach about it..and please don't misunderstand me. All these are good but are we looking into our lives & evaluating it constantly in all aspects?

In fact, for the past week, i've been in "upset mode" due to some happenings in my life and for the first time in my life..i actually "hearsay" from someone who is suppose to be close to me saying that i am not "open" in sharing my life. :( and then someone also "flew aeroplane" on me. Deep inside, i can say if i am not a changed person, i would have want to outrightly told that person off! But as i was thinking of these "evil" thoughts, the other side of me was like "hmzz..i have been as bad before in other aspects and many people have given me grace. so i should also practice grace." So till today i held back. Then during unit cg yesterday, siew qin shared about our heart motives. What's our heart motives for doing things, for serving God? As Christians, i strongly believe that we should constantly check this area of our life.

So..with regards to my "upset mode" i evaluated and asked God: "why do i still want to shepherd her? what is the heart motive for shepherding her? should i give up or continue to persevere?" - these questions have been ringing in my mind in fact for the whole of last week and finally...there was an answer->I was reminded that i should continue to love her. Love her not with your own love but see her through God's eyes. Not yours. :)