If anyone knows or those who are close enough to me, knows that the past 3 weeks have been a nightmare. It is probably 1 of the lowest point in my 28 years of living on this planet earth. everything just don't seem to work right and head in the right direction. from work, at home to church life. everything is like SCREWED! ya the word is kinda of crude but i can't think of another better work to describe the kinda of feeling. everything is just put to a test. My patience, tolerance level and of coz my relationship with God.

At work, since late last year in Dec, we kicked off our yearly budget. ok let me put it, budgeting involves management accounting and management accounting is something which i dread since university days. I really hate it. For those who wants to know why, you can request for me to show you my transcript and it explains clearly. haha. To add on to my "hate" relationship with management accounting, it also involves me dealing with my counterparts. (for those who know which are the people i deal with, will know the reason). Its hard to explain to my counter parts things because its something like 说了也不明白.. plus they are like "rubberband" time. Everytime they promised me that they will submit a piece of work to me in 1/2 an hr time, but it seems like the 1/2 an hr takes 3 hours or when they say today, it seems like today never comes or usually its end of their day which is 2 1/2 hours behind SG timing. Besides, the high level of communication with them, the SG HQ is facing lots of pressure as well and because its my 1st time doing this piece of work, I just keep making lots of errors. The feeling of sian-ness kicks in especially when I have to look @ reports, analyse it and think of questions that I can raise like whether the GP margin is reasonable, expenses are allocated properly and if all these "gel" with all the assumptions that were made. Head must match tail right? And with all these questions, we are suppose to inform our bosses so that when they go for their meeting, they can use all these as their "ammunition".

To add on to the budget thing, we have our monthly closing, 3rd quarter reporting and ad hoc projects. Everyday is like leaving office at 10 plus or 11 so by the time I get home, I just can't wait to sleep. But yet, another nightmare is awaiting @ hm..

Also, since last Dec, my house have been undergoing renovation. To come home and yet you still see workers dismantling things and fixing up things and the whole house haven't been cleaned. How to sleep? The floor is dusty. So by the time I reached home and everyone is busy, I have to start cleaning up my room. Mop, sweep, pack. 1 word - tiring! To make my life more miserable, I've suffered without a 温馨餐 for about 1 1/2 months. As if it isn't enough, my house used to have 3 bathrooms readily available for usage. But because my mum decides to revamp all the bathrooms, currently only 1 toilet is available and its on the ground floor. So...everyone snatches to use the toilet. My room condition besides the nice wardrobe that I've posted up earlier, the contractors have also demolish the old one and you know what..there's a big hole on the ceiling..and no tiles on the floor whereby the old wardrobe is. So no air con as well! Luckily, I ain't someone who can't survive without air con..so Fan it is for me!! It's been a week since I've been living on fan.

As if, living in Singapore ain't HOT enough and all the OT and late nights didn't build up enough "fire" in me, something that happened 3 weeks ago added more tension into my life. What happened 3 weeks ago that I don't wish to mention here added alot of hurts into my life. I mean I can say now I have forgiven these people who have hurt me but @ this point of time, I guess I am probably not too ready or comfortable to see them in person. Its hard because although forgive already but its awkward coz don't have anything to say. The incident really just reminded me of what happened 5 years ago on that fateful day on 11 Sep 2004 where everything just went wrong. Although I must say it these 2 incidents involved totally different people, but the feeling of it all was just totally the same. But through this incident, I am very thankful for 2 persons. 1 being a leader in my life who despite the pain in her jaw, her headache and being unable to talk much, she is so willing to spend her time finding/digging out all the issues and all the past experiences I have in my church life and Bingo, after much talk, her efforts paid off and we found the root cause of all these. Another person which I also want to thank is 1 of my ex ex shepherd. I never got a chance to tell her all that has happened in these 3 weeks until today when i was just asking her if she is going for someone's wedding and 1 thing led to another. We had a long chat and she shared with me certain things (some of her experiences)which made me felt "Hey I am not the only 1 who goes through this. I have someone who's very close to my heart who can understand the same sort of feeling."

Well to put things on a better note, some things that I can give thanks for. My company had our DND just last friday. The theme was "Casino Royale". Good theme I must say because that means you don't need to be dressed up in some costumes. Simple dress can liao. This is my 2nd time attending the DND and can i say this-> I reckon that Swissotel Merchant Court serves nice Food. Yeah! But the thing which i was very pek chek with myself is-> How could i have forgotten to bring the lucky draw coupon!!!!! Maybe the $1000 travel voucher could have been mine!!! ARGH!!!!!!! Then..here i come Sydney & Melbourne in Jul'10! I had alot of fun with the rest of my colleagues and well there were people who were dressed to the occassion. As for me, I kept it simple. Just a purple dress with a Big Big ribbon behind serves best. :)

Evelyn says she wants a photo that she's standing and so we did this. Right Smack in front of the theme of the night!.